The one phrase I wish people would stop saying

I’ve been asked many times what condition my son has.  When I tell them, they look at me with a confused on their face.

Prune Belly is a very rare syndrome and most people have never heard of it.  Honestly, I had never heard of it either – until my child was diagnosed.

I start on how his bladder doesn’t work right which leads to more questions and me telling them how his belly button has a hole in it that we catheterize him through.  By the looks I am getting, I am starting to wonder if I have something on my face.  I fumble over words like ureter, hydronephrosis and creatinine.  I need to remind myself to speak in layman’s terms because to them, I am speaking a foreign language. I eventually just settle on the fact that he has kidney disease.

Then, they say it.

“Everything happens for a reason.”

What do you do at that point?  What do you say?

My son’s condition has not been proven to be genetic.  It is not environmental and it isn’t due to something that I did during my pregnancy.

It just happened.

No explanation available, no reason.

I used to lay awake at night pondering that statement.  I would think what is the reason for this happening?  Why us?  Why this diagnosis?

It is a normal phase to go through when your child is diagnosed with something you’ve never heard of.  You want answers, and you want them now.

It’s been 5 years and I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that there isn’t always a reason for everything.

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I understand that a lot of the time, people just don’t know what to say or how to act and sometimes they can say the wrong things.  I get it, I’ve been there, we all have.

If I can offer any insight to help other’s to avoid this phrase, it would be to say, “so what does this all mean?”

Sometimes you don’t need to say anything, just listen, and if you have the time to listen, I have the time to talk.

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